Questioning Marraige

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This week has seen our family deal with the breakdown of a marraige in somebody close to us. Although it doesn’t affect me directly, it has had a profound effect on my youngest daughter. It was unfortunate that, on Thursday, when ‘the news broke’ the kids were in the house with my mother and with calls flying backwards and forwards they got all the details before I returned from my parent teacher meeting.

I spoke to the kids and explained that sometimes, people are just not meant to stay married and that it would be better all round if they can co parent, live separately and be the best parents they can be, just not as a couple. There were lots of questions from both girls about who would live where, arrangements for the kids etc. I tried to explain as best I could.

Of my 2 daughters, my eldest is definitely the drama queen, at 12, everything is a huge drama but she took this one in her stride. My youngest daughter (9) is normally the opposite, couldn’t give a toss as long as she has dolls / lego, someone to play with and a bit of grub 🙂 Friday morning though, she didn’t want to go to school, (She loves school!!!) she had herself so worked up that she was pale. I tried to brush it off, we had a chat and a cuddle and sent her off to school. She went to a friends house to play after school and when I picked her up she was in floods of tears. When she realised that I was 10 minutes late (bad mammy!!!) she got upset which ended up in her telling one of her friends what was going on. I was so surprised that it effected her so badly. There were questions about ‘if it was you and Daddy what would happen’….. A weekend of reassurance followed and hubby and I made a conscious effort not to bicker about stupid stuff so she wouldn’t get any ideas about us separating.

I suppose the lesson is that you just don’t know what way kids are thinking and how their imaginations can take hold and run wild on them. Another lesson would be that they wouldn’t be privy to so much of the information in the first place but that was outside my control at the time.

Karma

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So last weekend I went to bed on Sunday feeling quite smug, content and happy with life. This week has been shit, so consider me well and truly unsmug and stressed. I’m going to be quite selfish now and complain because there are others around me whose week has been more shitty than mine and I should be counting my blessings but i’m not!!

This week has been full of work (part time),school runs, childminding (part time) (other than my own 2), chauffering to extra curricular activities, dropping and collecting hubby from work (cause the lazy so and so won’t learn to drive, cue major arguments over the said refusal to learn to drive), blind repairs, laundry (and yet all my baskets are constantly full!!) cooking 2 dinners a day, parent teacher meetings, nursing eldest daughter who has a bad cold and this morning looks like youngest is coming down with it too, arguments with PC world cause they sent me an empty box, arguments with a company called garcinium cause the bastards advertised magic skinny pills online for free but then charged me 80 quid, and the feckin pills had the opposite effect, fire lighting for the mother, dragging in coal for the mother, (dad is away for the week). Hubby works in retail so this time of year he works long hours and while I’m grateful for the extra few quid I’ve missed the extra pair of hands this week. Also my shampoo is crap this week and my hair is dull and lifeless.

Ok rant well and truly over, I’m putting my stress in a balloon and setting it free – sounds easy right??

Contentment :)

Coming to the end of a pretty perfect weekend…. It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed a weekend so much. The funny thing is that we did absolutely nothing exciting!! We got up early yesterday to get a bargain in the b and q sale, an electric wall hung fire woohoo!!! Rock and roll baby;) eldest daughter went off to play in her friends house and youngest daughter had a friend over which gave me a chance to catch up on housework. Plenty of snuggles later Saturday night while watching X factor.
Today I was handed breakfast in bed and didn’t get up till 10.30, pure bliss!! Spent the day playing with the kids, walking the dog, making and enjoying a nice dinner… More snuggles tonight and kids now happily tucked up in bed.
It’s got me wondering why I’m feeling so content, sure it’s helped that the folks were away for the weekend (yes we live together, don’t ask!!) and hubby was off work. We had no rows, kids are happy, they have nice friends, I’m just feeling quite lucky. A good start to the week ahead:)

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Rant required…..

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Ok so I’m angry and I need a rant.

I have a stepdaughter, she’s 19 now. A lovely girl, to be fair we’ve always had a great relationship,

Lately though she doesn’t seem to want to visit, maybe not that she doesn’t want to but her weekends are full of social activities. I have no issue with that, feck it she’s 19, she should be out having fun. I do still firmly believe though that you have to make some time for family. We’ve always included her in our family life and even when we moved to Roscommon we still make frequent trips to see her and take part in all the milestones in her life.

This morning was the last straw for me. My daughter has a big show with her dance class in Dublin in February, tickets go on sale on Monday and she text her sister to ask her did she want a ticket. The reply was “sure I’ll probably be working” which may as well have said – I couldn’t be bothered, I don’t really care. She seems to think that she works a 60 hour week and is tied to her job, in reality she works about 25 hours a week in a flexible job which will probably cut her hours after Christmas anyway.

My daughter was heartbroken, cried her heart out. A great start to the day!!!

I try to convince her to concentrate on the family around her who do love her and who do make the effort for her but my words didn’t seem to help. Out comes the mammy bear in me who won’t let anyone upset her cubs!! I fired off a very angry private FB message and told her how selfish and thoughtless she had been. No doubt I won’t get a reply but I still had to say it. If I was her mother I would have wrung her neck in person.

I hate arguing with people, it eats me up inside and consumes my day 😦

Rant over….

Patience….

stress-multitasking-office-9542465I work for a group of women of a certain age. Its a nice job, been here 10 years, working in the mornings and home to my daughters in the afternoon, the best of both worlds really.

Some days I need more patience than others though, today is one of those days. Some examples:

Anytime the phone rings (it’s an office so a regular occurance) the lady beside me exclaims “oh there’s the phone now, I wonder who it is” EVERYTIME

Anytime I go out for papers etc I get a run down on the weather and how to dress appropriately for it – EVERYTIME!!!

11 O’Clock is tea time but I’ll get a countdown from 10.45 about how close it is to tea time and again at 12.45 before she goes for lunch at 1pm…..EVERYDAY!!!

I opened a parcel this morning wondering aloud who it was for, no name on the parcel, with a phone inside – the lady beside me says “it’s a phone, I wonder who it’s for” Mmmmm think I just said that.

Even though I’m a secretary 10yrs, one lady still checks my outgoing post to see if I have put the correct postage on it!

I love my job and I’m lucky to have it but some days it feels like I’ve brought my mother to work!!;)

Petty Rows….

downloadI often wonder do other couples row about the same silly stuff that we do?

On Sunday it was over cake – now we have an unusual household, we bought a house in the country with my parents and we all live together, like the Waltons only not as happy. There are a million things we could row about each week due to the above situation but no, we choose the petty stuff. I am watching myself slowly expand and hubby gets free cake in work and brings it home. I asked him to stop ages ago, but no, he keeps turning up with these boxes of delicious cake that I can’t say no to. We didn’t speak for the whole night over it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I think we do a good job of juggling marraige, house, kids, work, we are quite happy most of the time but I wonder if somebody played you a clip of a typical silly row you now have on the day before you got married, would you still turn up at the altar??

Halloween witch….

WitchNot a big fan of Halloween, I’m not sure why, maybe I don’t put enough effort into it. Anyway the kids were invited to separate parties with their friends this weekend so I ended up home alone, well the folks were there, hubby was working late. It was quite lonely actually, other families trick r treating at the door and my 2 having “the best night ever” with someone else’s family. Cue me feeling sorry for myself till it was time to pick up hubby from work and then all he wanted to do was complain about his day. Step up the nagging, ranting wife, he got both barrels I’m afraid. I think the Halloween witch got me and hopefully it’s temporary!!