Questioning Marraige

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This week has seen our family deal with the breakdown of a marraige in somebody close to us. Although it doesn’t affect me directly, it has had a profound effect on my youngest daughter. It was unfortunate that, on Thursday, when ‘the news broke’ the kids were in the house with my mother and with calls flying backwards and forwards they got all the details before I returned from my parent teacher meeting.

I spoke to the kids and explained that sometimes, people are just not meant to stay married and that it would be better all round if they can co parent, live separately and be the best parents they can be, just not as a couple. There were lots of questions from both girls about who would live where, arrangements for the kids etc. I tried to explain as best I could.

Of my 2 daughters, my eldest is definitely the drama queen, at 12, everything is a huge drama but she took this one in her stride. My youngest daughter (9) is normally the opposite, couldn’t give a toss as long as she has dolls / lego, someone to play with and a bit of grub 🙂 Friday morning though, she didn’t want to go to school, (She loves school!!!) she had herself so worked up that she was pale. I tried to brush it off, we had a chat and a cuddle and sent her off to school. She went to a friends house to play after school and when I picked her up she was in floods of tears. When she realised that I was 10 minutes late (bad mammy!!!) she got upset which ended up in her telling one of her friends what was going on. I was so surprised that it effected her so badly. There were questions about ‘if it was you and Daddy what would happen’….. A weekend of reassurance followed and hubby and I made a conscious effort not to bicker about stupid stuff so she wouldn’t get any ideas about us separating.

I suppose the lesson is that you just don’t know what way kids are thinking and how their imaginations can take hold and run wild on them. Another lesson would be that they wouldn’t be privy to so much of the information in the first place but that was outside my control at the time.

Petty Rows….

downloadI often wonder do other couples row about the same silly stuff that we do?

On Sunday it was over cake – now we have an unusual household, we bought a house in the country with my parents and we all live together, like the Waltons only not as happy. There are a million things we could row about each week due to the above situation but no, we choose the petty stuff. I am watching myself slowly expand and hubby gets free cake in work and brings it home. I asked him to stop ages ago, but no, he keeps turning up with these boxes of delicious cake that I can’t say no to. We didn’t speak for the whole night over it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I think we do a good job of juggling marraige, house, kids, work, we are quite happy most of the time but I wonder if somebody played you a clip of a typical silly row you now have on the day before you got married, would you still turn up at the altar??