Life changing so fast…..

Haven’t written anything in a while but I felt like today I wanted to write how I was feeling…..Diary

My eldest daughter started secondary school this morning. The emotion of it all has been building all summer….. firstly we had ‘leavers mass’ with primary school, the kids sang a song about their hopes and dreams and all the mammies sobbed for their little babies all grown up. The kids were excited to be leaving, the biggest in the school being made to feel like they were the most important people in the school ever. Treated like kings and on top of the world.

Fast forward to uniform shopping and it’s all very exciting (and expensive!!!) The books are covered and new pens and pencils all labelled and ready.

Suddenly, a couple of days before, she’s nervous – now I’ve been nervous all along but hid it well (I hope!!) 

She asks me to promise that everything will be ok. We have ‘a thing’ in our house, you can promise and that’s fine but if you make a pinky promise, that’s serious shit!! You cannot break a pinky promise under any circumstances!! So I promise that everything will be ok. Then she asks me to pinky promise!! Panic…..

How can I ‘pinky promise’ that everything will be ok? Of course I hope it will, that she will make nice friends, that she will be confident, work hard and do well in school. In reality, I have no control over any of this. I had to let her go at the school door this morning and figure out how to do all of the above on her own. In primary we know all the kids, we know all the mams and dads, we know the teachers, it’s all very relaxed and friendly. This is new territory for all of us, we won’t know all the girls or their parents, we’ll rarely get to speak to the teachers.

So I ‘pinky promised’  that it would all be fine, cause I’m sure it will be…. I hope it will be……

So this morning comes, she’s nervous, I’m overly chirpy. The uniform is rigid and new and too big. We get to the school and anxiously await the arrival of a familiar face. The friends arrive and she’s smiling and happy and confident. Then the principal comes out and ushers them all inside. She looks back and I know she wants a kiss or a cuddle but she won’t, not with all her friends there, so off she goes, without looking back. And that’s it, my little girl off to begin a new adventure….

oooohhhh I feel better already, this is like free therapy….. 🙂

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Reason for blogging….

So when I started this blog I thought it would be a good way to write down all my daily frustrations and stresses, to put them down in writing and then let them go. Each evening I would try to write how the day went but then delete it because it was full of moaning and complaining and It felt more like whining then really letting it go… Maybe I’m approaching it the wrong way. Maybe I need I balance the positives with the negatives of the day so here goes:
Negatives:
Missed the alarm and got up late, phone call from the mother in work at 10.30 in order to fill me in on the latest in an ongoing family drama, followed by a coffee with the mother to fill me in further on said drama, kids I mind when I got home from work seemed to be on a mission to piss me off by being loud and really cheeky today while taking an absolute age to do their homework, after dinner discussion with the mother about said family drama, feeling bad for my eldest who has herself worked up that the kids in school will make fun of her new glasses:(
Positives:
Got a lovely card in the post in work from a lady I helped, My kids are really good at helping me with the extra kids in the afternoons…they never complain about having to share their mammy or their stuff, grateful for easy regular conversations with my sister (brother is a little more complicated), no extra curriculars this evening and hubby is off today which meant a lovely snuggle in front of the tv with hubby and kids early this evening, and I’m sure when the football is over in 20mins there’ll be some funny stuff on tv to entertain me before climbing into my lovely warm bed..

I’m don’t think I’m a complicated person, I like the simple things in life, a happy home, an uncomplicated life, wishful thinking sometimes but the same can be said for many Irish households I suppose…. Anyway that’s my piece for tonight:) sleep well fellow bloggers…